Who Are We?
By Alejandra Montes de Oca
I do not feel like I belong. I was born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but when I think about my home, I cannot believe this is it. My parents migrated from Mexico almost 25 years ago. Almost 21 years ago, I was born. I have always felt some sort of disconnect. I know there are many people that feel similar to me.
There are times that I do not belong to either culture. We are not “white enough” to be American or “brown enough” to be Mexican. I feel like I am not Mexican because I wasn’t born in Mexico. Yet, I don't feel American because I grew up in a Mexican household.
Recently in one of my media classes, my professor asked me, “how are you targeted as an audience?” I sat in front of my computer for what felt like hours. I didn’t know how to say what I was thinking in a way that my classmates would understand and not look at me crazy. Later, I finally came up with an answer. I emailed my professor after class and told him my thoughts.
I told my professor:
“I am compelled to say that I am not targeted to. I say this is because I feel targeted as an “American” and as a “Mexican” but not as a “Mexican-America.” However, there are times when I have seen things in the media, and I feel like I am being spoken to. One of these times happened about a week ago. I was looking for something to watch on Netflix and remembered I had heard that Mindy Kaling had a new show on Netflix. I loved her work on The Office and decided to watch Never Have I Ever. This series is about a teenage Indian-American girl just trying to figure it out. I would not consider myself a super emotional person, so this rarely happens to me- but I felt that I have lived and or am living this. I cried at least once watching every episode. This girl is trying to figure out how to be American while being Indian. At some point, she tries to neglect the fact that she is Indian at all. I was like “she is ME.” Obviously, I am Mexican and not Indian, but I’ve struggled with this and continue to. How can I be American without being too Mexican and how can I be Mexican without being too American? This wasn’t always the case. I remember a time that I didn’t even think about my identity as a Mexican-American. All the way up until college, I went to school with 97+ percent Mexicans. When I started college, I noticed just how different I was. Not only did I look Hispanic, but my name definitely gave it away. I often felt that I did not belong. I felt the impostor syndrome at the highest scale. I remember thinking, “people are going to find out that I don’t belong here, and I am going to get kicked out.” I am currently a senior in college, and I still feel like this.”
This sparked something in me. I have realized that I am not the only one that feels like this. People in my life have shared with me that even if they were born in Mexico and they grew up here, they do not know if they would consider themselves Mexican- American.
The Hispanic and Latinx communities are currently the largest minority group in the United States. Most of the people that make up this community are Mexicans. I have noticed so many problems within this community that I am a part of. The pandemic has exposed many of the flaws within the United States economy, health care system, racism, classism and other forms of inequalities. While almost everyone is affected by COVID-19, there are specific groups that are most vulnerable. One of these groups are Hispanics and the Latinx communities.
While many workers pay taxes and contribute to the unemployment insurance tax, they do not qualify for this assistance. The U.S. pattern has shown many of the Mexican immigrant workforce is undocumented. There are little to no accurate statistcs of undocumented individuals within the workforce and their contribution to the United States economy. Information centers like The United States Census Bureau do not get correct information relating to Mexicans in the U.S. due to fear of deportation.
If they are undocumented, they will not give that information or even state how many people they have in their house hold. The legal status keeps them from getting certain jobs, certain loans, driver’s license, or social security number. Additionally, undocumented legal status prohibits them from reaping any benefits from federal or local government assistance programs. This includes the stimulus check that was given to Americans in hopes to relieve some of their financial burden during the pandemic, the unemployment assistance, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (food stamps), and government health care assistance.
Besides my own personal identity crisis, I realized that my community has bigger issues. I am currently planning and hoping to do something to help my amazing community. Even if I am not sure who we are, I am determined to help us.
